*War*!

About six months ago, a friend and I started talking on Google Talk. In Google Talk, if you enclose words in asterisks, *like this*, it bolds them. If you enclose words in underscores, _like this_, it makes them italic. If you do both, it makes them both.

When you chat with someone, you generally put actions in asterisks. For instance, let’s say you were insulted by something the other person said. You, being offended, might do this: *slaps*. Or perhaps this: *clobbers*. Or, my personal favourite: *takes to desolate island, leaves, drops 15 megaton nuclear warhead on said island*.

And that’s how the concept of *War* came about. My friend getting irked by my *slap*ping of him. He then punched me back. And so on and so forth.

Having A War

Four tips:

• You don’t have to have it in Google Talk. Other chat clients will do. We do it in MSN now, works a charm (just without automagical bolding)
• Let the person know about the war before you hold it. You don’t want to shock them, or confuse them, or make them cry.
• Start off small, with *slap*’s and *punch*es and stuff like that, then work your way up to the nuke.
• A good war can last anywhere from fifteen minutes to half an hour. Do it when you have free time or when you’re at work with nothing better to do (i.e. that fifty page report on sales of turnips in rural Tasmania that you have to have done by tomorrow)

Rules

There are only three rules, they’re simple… but there’s penalties, of which one must remember.

1. You can only have one turn before someone else takes theirs.  For instance:
       Douglas says:
            *punches*
       Douglas says:
            *shoots*
   Is totally unacceptable. However:
       Douglas says:
            *punches, shoots*
   Is acceptable, as you’ve made two moves in one turn.
   Penalty: Number of extra turns you took x 2 turn penalty (i.e. you took three turns instead of one, thats 3 x 2, and 3 x 2 = 6, the opposition gets six consecutive turns)
2. With Rule 1, comes a sub-rule: you cannot make more than three moves in one turn.
   Penalty: Two turns
3. Suicides, or suicide missions, are forbidden unless the chances of either person winning are unlikely. Ditto for big stuff in the first bit of the war.
   Penalty: war continues as if though nothing happened, two turn penalty.

So… what are you waiting for? Go find a good friend, hit them up on MSN\Googly Talk\AIM\whatever, and go to *WAR*!

Things that annoy me at work

I work at KFC. Deal with it. Anyway, here are some of the things that really annoy me:

1. “I’ll have a medium <insert name of thing here> please.”
   We’re KFC. We have regular and large. There is NO medium. Study our drinks fridge for an example: we’ve got cans, and bottles. That’s it. Nothing more. So, how the hell do you expect us to get a medium out of those two sizes? Yes, some meals might come with a little baggy of chips, but that holds the same amount as a little box.
2. Customers who order something huge and change their mind about it.
   Our registers are clever. They track how many times we push the Delete Last Item button, and the value of those items. It then tells us this, as a percentage, at the end of the shift, in full sight of the manager. If it’s too high, it either means you’re incompetent (which is what the managers are most likely to believe), or that you had very picky customers (not so likely to be believed). So, make up your mind before you go to the counter and tell me what you want, or I will kill you.
3. Asian people with thick accents and\or who think they know the menu better than we do.
   Now, I’m not racist, just so you know. But it really annoys me when an Asian person comes up with a thick accent, and I have to try an decipher what they say. They also annoy me when they think that we’ve rung it up at the wrong price (The Computer Never Lies), or rung up the entire thing wrong.
4. People who think sauces are free.
   They’re not. They’re 30c each. If you order a meal with a sauce in it, and come back and ask for one, you get one sauce. If you don’t and come back for one, I’ll give it to you anyway, and think, “God, people are fuckwits”. Sometimes I’ll charge you. If you want more than one, either way, I’m charging you. If you order it with your meal, then I’m going to charge you. I don’t want to be killed by a mob of angry managers.
5. People who go through the drive through and come in and accuse us of not doing  our jobs right.
   Yes, because I packed your order at the drive thru while contending with about forty million other people in here who are wanting to be served. If you accuse me of not doing my job right, and I packed your meal, then, fine. But if you came through the drive thru and I’m inside on the front counter, and you accuse me of this, expect me not to be impressed with you
6. People who go through the drive through and talk really quietly at the first window.
   For those of you who are not scientifically minded, here’s a fun fact for you! You can talk quietly in a small room and people will hear you because the sound bounces off the walls! I know, it’s a revelation. You can’t do this at a drive through window because the only walls are the ones inside your car, which have been breached because the window is open, and in my little alcove, again, which has been breached because the window is open. (in fact, one customer got very angryw ith me and said he wasn’t coming back because I had to keep asking him the same questions over and over again because he was talking so quietly. The good thing was, I acted all professional and he went all off his head, so he can complain about my service as much as he wants, I’m in the clear).
7. People who ask for things that don’t exist.
   We have promos. Last one was the All star box (much cheering and applause was heard at all KFC stores that had them when they finished). Ask yourself this before you order: Can you see it on the menu board? No? Then don’t order it. It really annoys me when I have to say to customers, no, that promo finished so long ago.

See? I’ve ranted. I could go on… but I’ve got other things to do.

Four Day Weekend, or Life is Not Sweet

Well, we’ve gone from one extreme to another — last time it was a one-day weekend, and now I’ve had a four-day weekend. I had Friday off, and today is Her Majesty’s Birthday. Hopefully, she got some nice presents.

So, Friday I went down town, hit the Public Library for the internet, and my mate turned up. So I had a good day there. We insulted each other via BabelFish. It was muchly fun.

Then I wandered around town for a while, and caught a bus home, then wanted naptime. But that had to wait until the evening, because I can only sleep during the day when a) I’m sicker than I normally get (which isn’t hard: I don’t get sick often, but when I do, I get sick bad!) and b) It’s around 4-5pm and c) I’ve no energy.

Don’t critisize my over-zealous and-ing. Just, don’t.

On Saturday and Sunday, it was your standard mope around at home, watch TV, etc., etc.

Today, it was “Woohoo! I’ve got the house to myself for a bit this morning!” This entailed watching all my favourite TV programs that I’d recorded, having a late breakfast of Vegemite on Well-Buttered toast, and, most importantly, sitting down on the computer, music on full-bore with no headphones. Life is sweet. Then everyone came home, so I had to help bring in the groceries, and resume my computering, still in my pyjamas, but with headphones on.

Life is not sweet anymore.

On the upside, it’s about ten past eleven, and I am still, yes, still, in my pyjamas.

At least I’ve got my pants on right-side-out today.