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November 25, 2009 / douglasac

Apple = Fail

I hate Apple Products. iPods are expensive media players with half the features of their competitors. MacBooks and MacBook Pros command a price premium that no sane person should be able to justify. The MacBook Air is a glorified netbook. The iMac is missing out on features that it’s competitors are getting, such as touchscreens (Linky and, sadly, linky). And I can’t think why a consumer would need a Mac Pro, but, if you do, go ahead, it’s one of the few workstations that make me drool. Businesses are nuts if they want to use Macs, because they’re not as flexible as Windows machines and are expensive. One thing that Apple has got going for it is that they won’t service a Mac if it has been owned by a smoker. And smoking can kill a computer/

But my biggest peeve is with the humble iPood (not a typo) and the iPhone.

They are, if you ask me, two of the wankiest pieces of technology in the history.

The iPod, for instance, is stupid. You have the Shuffle, which is tiny and requires a $40 pair of earphones to make it work. Then there’s the Nano, with a camera (because we never have enough cameras on our persons), the Classic (they’re still making it?) and the Touch (If I may say so, biggest wank ever). And then you have the iPhone, which should really be called the iWantToBeAPhone, because it took Apple a while to integrate features that most other phones had (Copy and paste, anyone? Use of Bluetooth to transfer files to other devices?). Sure, it had a fancy browser, but anyone who has a phone capable of running Java Apps or that has a phone running Windows Mobile or Symbian can have that too. It also has a touchscreen, but Windows Mobile devices had been doing that for years (granted, in an unelegant fashion, but there we go). The first generation also lacked 3G support, so you were always on dialup speeds (Clearly someone at Apple wasn’t thinking straight, but then again, they never are at Cupertino).

Then there’s the apps. Ick. Perhaps this and this will sum up the Apple App Store and how stupid it is. If Apple hasn’t approved an application, then it can’t run on your phone. Yet most other mobile OSes have no issues with letting you run whatever you want… most phones are happy with Java apps, Symbian merely asks that one self signs the application in question at the least, and, well, Windows, being Windows, really doesn’t care.

And of course, why buy a decent phone when you can have an iWantToBeAPhone? Have a looksee here…


Apple iPhone 3GS

HTC Touch Diamond2

Nokia N97



16GB: $849

32GB: $879




600Mhz Samsung

528Mhz Qualcomm

430Mhz ARM11


16GB or 32GB depending on model.

Not expandable.

512MB ROM (for OS)

288MB RAM (for user data)

Up to 32GB via MicroSDHC Card


32GB Internal Storage

Up to 32GB via SDHC


3.0 Megapixel

Autofocus, auto white balance, auto exposure

5.0 Megapixel with Autofocas

Front VGA Camera for video calls

5.0 Megapixel with Carl Zeiss Tessar Lens


iPhone OS 3.1.2

Windows Mobile 6.1 Professional\Windows Mobile 6.5 Professional

Symbian 9.4 with Nokia S60 5th Edition User Interface


320×480, 3.5in

480×800, 3.2in

640×360 3.5in (16:9 Aspect Ratio)





QWERTY keyboard


WiFi 802.11b\g



Dock Connector

WiFi 802.11b\g

Bluetooth 2.0


WiFi 802.11b/g


Bluetooth 2.0

TV Out

USB 2.0


Now, I took a sampling from three different phone crowds: iPhone, WinMo and Symbian. The Nokia N97 is clearly the superior phone, as it has features that both the iPhone and HTC lack, specifically a full QWERTY keyboard. It also has a screen the same size of that as the iPhone but with a higher resolution, meaning things look sharper, crisper, et cetera. HTC seem to think that really high resolution on a small screen works (it doesn’t), but if it is executed right it can. And for some reason, the Nokia seems to be able to cram much more into a phone than Apple can and charges $220 less for it. Perhaps it’s because Nokia know that they have a better product, but because people are like, Ooh, iPhone, must be good!, they are ignored. Which is typical, really: people ignore the good and go straight for the nastiest thing they can buy.

Now, after reading this and all the associated links, I want you to tell me that Apple make the best products. How many of you are game enough to do it?

And believe me, they don’t.



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